First noted by St. Mark and later amplified by U.S. President Abraham Lincoln, “a house divided against itself cannot stand.”
And yet, division, debate, and a good argument seem extremely American to me. From the very first bitter divides over whether we should separate from an English king to modern squabbles over going for it on fourth down, we do love a good scrap.
But a truly good scrap comes with a number of things that are too often missing today.
For starters, there needs to be a sense of respect at the table. From Lincoln vs. late-Sen. Stephen Douglas to Supreme Court Justices Antonin Scalia vs. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a high level of respect leads to an elevated discourse that challenges both sides to be at their sharpest. And for those of us listening, it provides much more light than heat. (It also keeps mud to a minimum.)
But perhaps most underrated, a good give-and-take requires not just talking but listening.
These days, the talking heads are so weighed down with their talking points and scripted “gotchas” that there’s very little listening going on. That results in people talking past rather than to one another. That is not only unfruitful but, I fear, dangerous. That’s when we tilt over into the worries of St. Mark and Honest Abe.
So, here’s to digging a little deeper, practicing a little more patience, and listening a little longer.
I think it will lead to a better scrap.
